Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Advice? Insights? Anyone?

This evening, my daughter told me over dinner that she was worried about one of her friends. She's in middle school, so of course a lot of frightening possibilities sprang to mind at once, both about the kids and their families. She has a friend in foster care. She has a friend who is the victim of a "shared custody" arrangement that has her moving back and forth between her parents' homes every other day. She has a friend whose mother was recently deported. So I was prepared for the worst.

But not for what she said.

Her friend, she told me, wears a cross tucked inside her shirt, because her mother has forbidden her to have anything to do with "church stuff". Her mother found and threw away her Bible, and won't let her go to church with friends because she doesn't want her "learning about that religion crap".

I had no idea what to say.

I told her that we would pray for her friend and her mother, and that she should remind her friend that the most important thing was her relationship with God and that no one but her would know if she talked to God. And I felt two firmly held ethical beliefs crashing into one another hard enough to leave shattered glass on the ground around me. I'd be outraged if I felt like some other adult was feeding my daughter ideas that were contrary to our religion at her age. But the idea of a 12-year-old child trying to be a Christian alone and hide it from her parents is pretty painful, too.

I have no idea what the right thing to do might be, or even if doing anything (other than praying) is right. Any thoughts, experiences, prayers, insights, etc. will be greatly appreciated.

4 comments:

Tap said...

Our country has become very much like the early Christians in Rome,the Communist countries and the middle east.
Her friend does have hope,no matter what articles they may take away from her Jesus and her guardian angel will always be with her.
In that hope she needs to hold on with the spiritual graces that God can give her. Prayers within her heart will strengthen her soul. And our prayers will add to this...

Channelofhealing said...

Hi Madame X I don't think you did anything wrong in what you told your daughter, especially as a mother you told your daughter the truth and the truth can never be wrong ok. As for the the girls mother maybe one day she would really give her life to Christ and follow God but for now Prayers is what you can give to them.
Godbless you Mightily in Jesus Name Amen.

Sandra said...

You did the right thing by offering to pray for the child and her family. I hope also it leads to a discussion with your daughter on respecting other points of view even if we don't agree with them. The parent has the right to make that decision for her child. The lessons here that we can all learn from is respect, tolerance and what I love most about the Church is our absolute faith. May God Bless all in this situation.

Theresa H. Hall said...

Suggestion: Her friend can make the sign of the cross over her heart, in private. This way her beliefs are invisible and secret, between her and The Holy Trinity. She will not have to worry about a material show of her faith as she will carry it in her heart.

On another note Tiffany, I should very much like you to remember me in your prayers. Joe is going out of the country Tuesday for 2 weeks. I am not very good all alone in this big house, so I will need special protective novenas and special intentions for my well being and peace of mind. I just know I can count on your support and caring. Thank you ever so much for the added courage I shall require. Peace to you and yours.